The theme Authentic Relating offers perspectives around the changing social mores of dating and the art of intimacy. My views reflect direct and indirect experience augmented through research in psychology, sociology, anthropology, spiritual and personal growth. This, the introductory entry, sets a stage for my own voyage in the complex and mysterious world of interconnection.
The lingua franca of human intimacy carries with it a vernacular that deserves re-examination. Etymology can provide insights to connotations assumed and misunderstood. Many people feel they long to have "a relationship" – a noun – and then wonder why they remain unfulfilled; such emptiness can lead to disillusionment and bitterness. The verb form – "to relate" – captures a feel not of behavioral boundaries or rules of engagement, but rather of the action "to feel connected or sympathetic to” the other.
Bonds are not built in groupings but as individuals in dyads: person-to-person, one-on-one. Why? Because only when we are alone with another, unobserved and vulnerable, can we begin to build real trust. Connection, the ultimate aim of relating, can only occur through the sharing of stories where our experiences and interpretations find complicit meaning.
Relating means many things that involve continuous learning on many levels. To relate authentically means to carve out one’s own path and set of unashamed desires through which we learn the tacit feel of intimacy. It means balancing the time demands of stakeholders: family and friends, work and creative endeavors, love and personal discovery. Forging connection occurs emotionally, but may also unfold physically, intellectually or spiritually. Like many areas in life, developing a richness of understanding is not a destination but a journey of revelation and compassion.
As this thread evolves, we will return to this theme. Please contribute your stories and topic ideas for continuing the dialogue.
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